How to Talk to Your Partner About an Unplanned Pregnancy
How to Talk to Your Partner About an Unplanned Pregnancy
Finding out you’re pregnant unexpectedly can bring a rush of emotions—fear, shock, confusion, or even disbelief. When you’re in a relationship, one of the biggest decisions ahead is how to talk to your partner about the pregnancy.
You are not alone. Many couples face this situation every year, and conversations like this can be healthy, supportive, and even relationship-strengthening.
Columbia Pregnancy Center can help you prepare for the conversation and make sure you feel heard and supported throughout the process.
1. Process Your Feelings First
Before telling your partner, take time to acknowledge your own emotions and needs. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists encourages emotional support and shared decision-making when navigating pregnancy conversations [1].
Ask yourself:
- How do I feel about the pregnancy?
- What do I need emotionally right now?
- What kind of support am I hoping for?
You don’t need to have all the answers first—just understanding your feelings can ease the conversation.
2. Choose the Right Time and Place
A private, calm environment helps both of you feel safe discussing something personal. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that difficult conversations go better when emotional safety and mutual respect are present [3].
Avoid bringing it up during:
- An argument
- Intense stress
- Work or social events
- Over text
Instead, try:
“There’s something important we need to talk about. Can we sit down later when we both have time?”
3. Be Honest and Direct
You don’t need the perfect words.
Using “I” statements helps you communicate your feelings without assuming theirs. Healthy communication is key in relationships according to the Office on Women’s Health [5].
Example:
“I just found out I’m pregnant. I’m still processing everything, and I want to talk about it together.”
4. Share Facts — Don’t Assume
It’s okay not to have all the answers. If you haven’t had a medical confirmation yet, Mayo Clinic recommends an evaluation to understand what is happening medically and emotionally [2].
You can discuss:
- What you know (test results, upcoming appointments)
- What you don’t know yet (ultrasound results, pregnancy viability)
- What you’re doing next (seeking information, booking an appointment)
Get clarity before making decisions
We offer medical-grade pregnancy testing and ultrasounds at no cost to confirm how far along you are. Schedule an appointment with us to see if you qualify for an ultrasound.
5. Listen to Their Feelings
Your partner may feel shocked, scared, uncertain, or even supportive. The APA notes that open listening reduces stress and improves decision-making during major life changes [3].
Try:
“I want to hear how you feel too.”
Listening doesn’t mean agreeing—it means understanding.
6. Focus on Teamwork
You don’t have to figure everything out in one conversation. ACOG recommends shared decision-making—working together to decide what’s best [1].
You might say:
“We don’t have to choose anything today. Let’s take this one step at a time.”
7. Seek Support — You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
You may feel pressure to make a quick decision, but you deserve time, space, and accurate information.
Columbia Pregnancy Center provides:
- Pregnancy testing
- Limited ultrasounds
- Options consultations, including
parenting,
adoption, or
abortion information [4]
- Community referrals and support
We are here to support you.
Schedule a free and confidential appointment with us today.
Sources:
- American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). “Shared decision-making in obstetric care.”
- Mayo Clinic. “Pregnancy: What to expect in the first trimester.”
- American Psychological Association (APA). “Managing stress during major life changes.”
- Planned Parenthood. “Pregnancy options: abortion, adoption, and parenting.”
- Office on Women’s Health (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services). “Healthy relationships and communication.”
